So true Margaret. The silence around these topics is deafening. In a recent conversation, somebody was talking about taking a stand as being more powerful that standing up against. The latter distracts from the issues leads to power games defining the relationships with others, rather than exchanging views about was is really going on.
I will continue to have my voice heard and taking a stand. Thank you for this post.
Just a question - "visible inequality in restaurants that have become unaffordable or just obnoxious" - I get unaffordable, as prices have risen drastically over the last few years with rising costs all round, but I wonder what you mean by obnoxious in this context?
Read this yesterday, Margaret, and had to come back to it today. First, thanks for pointers to additional background materials. I was aware of the M&M work, but do appreciate the pointer to it. Didn’t know about Exit, Voice, and Loyalty. I must dig into it!
We connected on LinkedIn a few years back when I wrote you about my dealings with corporate willful blindness. My situation was that I was loyal to my employer (and its succession of owners) for over 30-years. I voiced a blatant regulatory violation (with equanimity), but was forced to exit when they subjected me to a mental health assessment, suspension, then a performance improvement plan upon my return. The oddity, eight years later, I have remained loyal to them, barely saying a peep about what they did and what they did to me. (I don’t want to be known as a w-word.) I endeavor to quietly write about it, and relive the nightmare in doing so, in the hope I can solve the dilemma or at least provide a means for others to speak about and visibly and collectively confront it. I believe it’s not beyond measure 📕.
One more thought. Silence may be the answer. Often, insight springs directly from individual silence. Is there a collective silence that could serve to begin the needed conversations?
It's hard to hear a collective silence. Mostly silence makes people feel alone even when they may be surrounded by people as perturbed and uncomfortable as they are. This is often the case when things go wrong in organizations: everyone knows but nobody dares say. The collective silence allows the problem to grow.
That said, there are times when thinking time is essential!
My work is in part about providing employees with tools to recognize trips personally and collectively, and to establish a process for addressing the trips. It is a blast to watch the ah-hahs emerge and teams move beyond. As for silence, it can operate on many levels and in various ways. I was thinking of Kahneman's Think Fast and Slow and the use of silence appropriate to context. Is silence the space between the notes necessary for the emergence of insight? Thank you for all this.......
Yes. And it is as if retreating into "business as usual' will shield us from the lunacy of the choices we've made and continue. Is this the collective version of "Trips to Abilene" outlined in Jerry Harvey's "Abilene Paradox?" Can we ever find common ground to understand humanity's stake in our shared fate? What would have to happen for creating the context for having the needed conversations?
I love the Abilene Paradox (I was born in Texas!) and see it so often. Having a name for it makes it easier to call out. The other day in a meeting someone said - Hang on, are we ALL going to Abilene? It was an elegant, friendly challenge, and he was right!
My next post - tomorrow - addresses some of your 2nd question.
I'm really looking forward to it. I had the privilege to share some time and learning with Jerry Harvey. He became a mentor, friend, and non-teacher. I non-teach his work in my Facilitative Leadership Class (since 2006). Trips are pervasive. Having tools in your toolkit to recognize and address trips and what to do about them could be a necessary survival skill for our anxious and anaclitically depressed species.
So true Margaret. The silence around these topics is deafening. In a recent conversation, somebody was talking about taking a stand as being more powerful that standing up against. The latter distracts from the issues leads to power games defining the relationships with others, rather than exchanging views about was is really going on.
I will continue to have my voice heard and taking a stand. Thank you for this post.
Just a question - "visible inequality in restaurants that have become unaffordable or just obnoxious" - I get unaffordable, as prices have risen drastically over the last few years with rising costs all round, but I wonder what you mean by obnoxious in this context?
Deeply entitled customers, frequently oblivious to other customers; a lot of bling and waste and a surly, sometimes rude, attitude to staff.
Wow, I''m sorry to hear that. Not my experience, but I'm sure it happens.
Read this yesterday, Margaret, and had to come back to it today. First, thanks for pointers to additional background materials. I was aware of the M&M work, but do appreciate the pointer to it. Didn’t know about Exit, Voice, and Loyalty. I must dig into it!
We connected on LinkedIn a few years back when I wrote you about my dealings with corporate willful blindness. My situation was that I was loyal to my employer (and its succession of owners) for over 30-years. I voiced a blatant regulatory violation (with equanimity), but was forced to exit when they subjected me to a mental health assessment, suspension, then a performance improvement plan upon my return. The oddity, eight years later, I have remained loyal to them, barely saying a peep about what they did and what they did to me. (I don’t want to be known as a w-word.) I endeavor to quietly write about it, and relive the nightmare in doing so, in the hope I can solve the dilemma or at least provide a means for others to speak about and visibly and collectively confront it. I believe it’s not beyond measure 📕.
Deafening indeed. The whole world is appeasing the bully instead of being a strong voice together
One more thought. Silence may be the answer. Often, insight springs directly from individual silence. Is there a collective silence that could serve to begin the needed conversations?
It's hard to hear a collective silence. Mostly silence makes people feel alone even when they may be surrounded by people as perturbed and uncomfortable as they are. This is often the case when things go wrong in organizations: everyone knows but nobody dares say. The collective silence allows the problem to grow.
That said, there are times when thinking time is essential!
My work is in part about providing employees with tools to recognize trips personally and collectively, and to establish a process for addressing the trips. It is a blast to watch the ah-hahs emerge and teams move beyond. As for silence, it can operate on many levels and in various ways. I was thinking of Kahneman's Think Fast and Slow and the use of silence appropriate to context. Is silence the space between the notes necessary for the emergence of insight? Thank you for all this.......
Yes. And it is as if retreating into "business as usual' will shield us from the lunacy of the choices we've made and continue. Is this the collective version of "Trips to Abilene" outlined in Jerry Harvey's "Abilene Paradox?" Can we ever find common ground to understand humanity's stake in our shared fate? What would have to happen for creating the context for having the needed conversations?
I love the Abilene Paradox (I was born in Texas!) and see it so often. Having a name for it makes it easier to call out. The other day in a meeting someone said - Hang on, are we ALL going to Abilene? It was an elegant, friendly challenge, and he was right!
My next post - tomorrow - addresses some of your 2nd question.
I'm really looking forward to it. I had the privilege to share some time and learning with Jerry Harvey. He became a mentor, friend, and non-teacher. I non-teach his work in my Facilitative Leadership Class (since 2006). Trips are pervasive. Having tools in your toolkit to recognize and address trips and what to do about them could be a necessary survival skill for our anxious and anaclitically depressed species.